The following interview transcript was painstakingly typed out by CarriK and made available for your downloading enjoyment by moi, Tiny Dancer from my website, Tiny Dancer's X-Files Episode Guide . Enjoy. ----------------------------------------------------------- DD on Howard Stern (partial) (Early in the interview. Talking about haircuts.) STERN: You know I cut my hair a little bit. You can see it’s shorter, right? DD: (referring to something in the studio) I hadn’t noticed ‘cause this wig is bothering me here. STERN: That’s the Rosie O’Donnell head. DD: I don’t like that. (laughs) STERN: You don’t like the Rosie O’Donnell head? DD: Well, (laugh) no. It’s got jelly beans in the back STERN: Guess how many … That’s the actual size of Rosie O’Donnell’s head. How many jelly beans do you think are in there? Take a guess. DD: 1432. STERN: Is that high or low? ROBIN: That’s high. STERN: I think it’s low. ROBIN: Low? Maybe? 1432. Where are we Baba boom STERN: Gary is that low? GARY: 2000 was low. STERN: 2000 was low. DD: I thought it was Gillian. No, I couldn’t ..I couldn’t … (CarriK: tell?) (ROBIN laughs.) STERN: What’s up with Gillian, man? What’s her name? Gillian Anderson? ROBIN: Yeah. DD: Yeah. STERN: I’m now watching the "X-Files" and everything. DD: Oh, you are? STERN: Yeah, yeah. And Gillian Anderson … What is that? ROBIN: Who plays Scully --- DD: What do you want to know? STERN: Yeah, I mean … Is she uptight, or what man? ROBIN: (indignant) Nooo!! DD: No. STERN: Did you ever have sex with her before you were married to Tea. DD: No. STERN: You didn’t? DD: No. STERN: No desire, right? DD: Well, no I --- get outta here… (realizing there is no good answer, good boy, DD!!) STERN: There’s something nonsexual about her, right? DD: Uh … ROBIN: (laughing) Well she PLAYS that, Howard. DD: Yes .. she just a good actress --- STERN: Well I saw her on Rosie O’Donnell and she was playing that right there on Rosie O’Donnell, too. (TD NOTE: Pardon me? I've never seen her be anything but cute and sexy on Rosie's show!) ROBIN: Well, maybe she’s just stuck in her role. But I understand she used to be like a punk kid, or something. DD: That’s the story. STERN: Oh, that’s what she’s saying to be cool. DD: That’s the story. STERN: Ever feel her up? Or anything? DD: No. STERN: Nothing. DD: Not intentionally. STERN: I mean she’s cute but --- DD: I mean sometimes we’re doing a scene and I slip --- STERN: (laughs) And your hand lands on her breast. ROBIN: (laughs) And your hand goes somewhere. DD: Yeah. ROBIN: Well, she’s had a wild time on that show. Hasn’t she like hooked up with some guys and sorta gotten into trouble? DD: On the show? STERN: What? Banging guys? ROBIN: Well, not as the character in her personal life she’s sort of ---- one of those co-stars or something on the TV show --- STERN: Cause she was banging him? ROBIN: --wound up in jail or something, didn’t he? DD: Is that right? (Laughter.) ROBIN: Oh, stop it, David. STERN: You don’t know anything? DD: I don’t. I don’t care. _______________________________ (Later, Robin mentions that she got invited to a screening of the movie and Stern asks why he didn't get invited.) DD: Well, Robin publically says that she's a fan. Why would anyone come to you and say "Howard, come see the movie,"? STERN: I would go see it. (Laughter) DD: You say bad things about the show, about Gillian. You call me a fake Richard Gere. (Robin laughs) DD: Robin says nice things. Of course she gets invited. ___________________________ EVIL CALLER: OK a couple of nights ago, I saw Gillian Anderson on the Magic Show. And it was truly ... a moment ... in TV history. STERN: What do you mean? CALLER: Uh .. well,,, for one thing, she kept sitting -- she comes on the set and she just kinda looked like a deer caught in the headlights. (laughter) STERN: (to DD) Is THAT what influnced your decision not to go on the Magic Johnson show? ROBIN: You saw Gillian ...(laugh) CALLER: No, you have to hear this. She looks she didn't look at him and she sits as far into her chair as far away possible as she could, and HE immediately starts... he has these enormous hands, they look like submarines, or something --- (laughter) DD: Submarines? STERN: "I'm going to touch your breasts, now." Gillian and Magic: Two deer caught in the lights. CALLER: No, but listen to this. His hands kept flying around her body and kept pulling on her body. Pulling, literally pulling her towards him. And at one point, they shot them from behind, upwards, and so you kept seeing him pulling, pulling, pulling, and the hands flying, STERN: Wait, was he trying to get her? CALLER: Every now and then she would lean forward to say something, and this is shot from the back upward. STERN: David, is this why you won't do it? DD: Ah.... CALLER: Like to give the appearance of intimacy. Like they were having sex or something? STERN: David, are you afraid that Magic will try to have sex with you? Did Gillian have a bad experience there? Is that what's leading to this? _____________________ (Earlier, they had talked about getting dependant on movie assistants, then going home and adjusting to having to do chores at home again with their wives. Stern talks about having to pick up dog crap. DD's wonderful respose:) DD: Actually, I know how to do very little and picking up dog crap is one of the things I do well. So I always raise my hand for that job.