The following interview transcript was painstakingly typed out by CarriK , edited by Shellie "Cinnamon Grrl" and made available for your downloading enjoyment by moi, Tiny Dancer from my website, Tiny Dancer's X-Files Episode Guide . Enjoy. ----------------------------------------------------------- DD on Rosie 5/6/98 CarriK the Transcriber ROSIE: Our first guest has played the world's most paranoid FBI agent for almost five years running. He can be seen in the movie version "X-Files," which I cannot wait for, in a couple of weeks. The plot is so top secret, we can only show you a little snippet. Take a look. (She shows scenes from the first movie trailer.) Scully: Mulder? Voice over: Cherish the past. Enjoy the present. Because the truth is coming. (Back to Rosie) [ Very exuberent CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ PLAYING THEME TO "THE X-FILES" ] (Rosie keeps pushing button on her desk that keeps playing the opening notes of the theme to TXF over and over.) [ APPLAUSE ] ROSIE: Please welcome David Duchovny! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] (DD comes out dressed in black, casual.) [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ROSIE: Well, hi, David. DD: Hey. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ROSIE: Good to see you. DD: Where's that button? ROSIE: Right here. DD: Can you do that? (DD plays with the button.) ROSIE: That's nice, isn't it? DD: That's good. Actually, that's my doorbell. ROSIE: It is? [ LAUGHTER ] DD: (smiling) Because I can't hear that song enough. ROSIE: Yeah. I'll bet. Do people sing it to you on the street? DD: It's hard to sing. ROSIE: I could try. [ LAUGHTER ] DD: You know what the lyrics are? It's written by this guy named Mark Snow, who does all our songs, all the music for the show. I asked him once what are the lyrics. He said it's -- (DD sings to the tune of the theme - very cute) THE "X-FILES" IS A SHOW WITH MUSIC BY MARK SNOW [ LAUGHTER ] ROSIE: I didn't know that. DD: (still singing) "THE X-FILES" IS A SHOW / WITH MUSIC BY MARK SNOW ROSIE: That's catchy, isn't it? That's nice. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] DD: If you ever wanna, like, sing it to your children, that's how it goes. [ LAUGHTER ] ROSIE: A nice nursery rhyme. I watch the show, as you know, every week. DD: Yeah. ROSIE: Sunday nights. Last two Sundays -- DD: Uh-huh. ROSIE: -- Totally confused. Explain to me, David -- First of all, that scary one with the girls, with their eyes burnt out, extra limbs. You know what, that made me nauseous. Ruined my whole dinner of chicken wings and blue cheese. I couldn't finish my meal. Last week, the guy is a good guy, you're almost killed, there's a car waiting for you, what's happening? DD: I have no idea. [ LAUGHTER ] ROSIE: You don't know? DD: What I'm terrified of is you're going to ask me to do some fractions. (Inside joke from earlier on the show.) ROSIE: I can't do a fraction. DD: I would rather try to explain that to you than to do those fractions. It's all -- what we always say, setting up the movie. It's just vague conspiracy. Like bio weapons involved now. I don't know if you read in the papers. Scares of Russian bio weapons being leaked and now the Soviet Union has broken apart. Things like this. It's all shadow conspiracies, I have no idea what I'm talking about. I think it carries -- what you do is take the plot and multiply by -- [ LAUGHTER ] ROSIE: Before you got this series, were you at all interested in conspiracy things and -- DD: My dad wrote a play called "The Trial of Lee Harvey Oswald," which was on Broadway -- for three days. (Smiles) [ LAUGHTER ] ROSIE: Long run. DD: A record maybe some kind. It was if Oswald had lived, if he hadn't been shot, the trial, basically. So he was a conspiracy buff. You know, I guess I inherited some of that, but not actively. ROSIE: Are you happy your character is changing and used to be totally a believer, and then you feel there's not theories -- DD: Yeah, it's the fifth year. (Smiles) Something has to change. I mean, he'll probably be cross dressing soon. ROSIE: Which you did on "Garry Shandling." DD: My pants may have been a little loose but -- ROSIE: Didn't we have a clip of you in drag? DD: That was "Twin Peaks". ROSIE: Here you go as a Barbie doll. (Shows picture of the Mulder and Scully Barbies. Very Funny.) Is this exciting? This is a real thing. They're having "The X-Files" Barbie and Ken? DD: Yeah, I know. I hadn't seen this. (Holds picture) I believe what they've done is taken the Chris O'Donnell doll and recycled it from "Batman and Robin." ROSIE: It does look like him a little bit. DD: When they send you this stuff they send you a prototype doll. ROSIE: Right. DD: And they have comments about what's going on with the doll. Like they'll say nose is too big. Hair isn't right. And you, like, take it personally, because you don't know if they're talking about the doll or you. ROSIE: Right. DD: So I wrote back and said, I'm not sure what you mean about the nose being too big. If you mean it's the doll or me. But I prefer my doll to have a better nose than me. Why not? ROSIE: Exactly. DD: I liked your doll the last time. ROSIE: Did you like it? DD: One of those -- ROSIE: We got one in the back. You need one? DD: Yeah, I -- ROSIE: I might have a Barbie, you know? Truly. Like a normal size Barbie. A Barbie that doesn't go like this. (Does hour glass shape with hands) DD: Right. Well, that's nice. ROSIE: They're going to bring me the prototype, we'll see. Big tummy, double chin. It'll be nice. [ APPLAUSE ] I understand in this movie, I'm going to see opening day -- DD: June 19th. ROSIE: -- you're nude. DD: Well, not nude. [ CHEERS ] ROSIE: See, I know what the people enjoy. DD: Maybe I should be nude. Maybe we should go reshoot right now. ROSIE: You're not nude? I heard you were. DD: I flashed a little butt. And it's totally gratuitous, which is -- [ LAUGHTER ] -- Which is the way I like it. I hate when actors come on, "I'll only do nudity if it's necessary". When is nudity necessary in a movie? You know? ROSIE: I don't know. DD: Unless you're playing Adam and Eve, I would imagine -- [ LAUGHTER ] - it's necessary. I had to have lunch nude, because my character would, so -- [ LAUGHTER ] - I don't really understand it. I like it if it's totally gratuitous. Totally. I'm in a hospital at the time and wearing one of those hospital gowns, so I get up out of my hospital bed and there's my sick, tired rear end. ROSIE: Ooh. DD: It's gratuitous and ugly at the same time. ROSIE: Like an "NYPD" Butt Scene. DD: I don't want to say anything about that, no. ROSIE: All right. Congratulations, first of all, on having the show shot in L.A. That's a great thing. Were you supposed to be up interest for the pilot, and up there for five years in Vancouver? DD: You know how it works. You do a contract, and they don't tell you it will shoot so far from home. Every year, it keeps getting farther and farther away. ROSIE: I think it's great. Congratulations on your year anniversary. DD: Yeah. ROSIE: Which I believe is today. [ APPLAUSE ] How about that? Now, you know, it's Teacher Appreciation Week. DD: Yeah. ROSIE: Yeah. Favorite teacher? DD: Well, my mother and my sister are both teachers. ROSIE: That's great. DD: Neither of them taught me. My mother used to sub for me occasionally. We were talking backstage how when your mom is your teacher, you really have to be bad. Because otherwise the other kids don't respect you. ROSIE: Yeah. DD: It was good that my mother wasn't a regular teacher, because I would have dropped out otherwise. ROSIE: Right. DD: I had to smoke in class or do something when my mom was there, to prove I was a little man. ROSIE: To help your image. DD: I had a great teacher in high school, my latin teacher, who was actually a very strong influence on me. You know, I was kind of a good successful student. So nobody thought that I would have any problems. He was one guy that wanted to get through my successful facade to see if I was, you know, really doing as well as I seemed to be or if I needed help. His name was James Roges. He's dead now. He was a good teacher. ROSIE: You see, that makes a difference, when teachers take that extra time, and try to find out what's going on. DD: You know, you don't spend all that much time with the kids you know, a lot of kids can put up a front. You know, everybody needs help from time to time. And it's good to check in and find out. He did ok. ROSIE: I agree. I had teachers who did that for me as well. Saved my life in many ways. David, you know, I enjoy the show. I can't wait for the movie. DD: I wish I could have explained it to you. ROSIE: It doesn't matter. DD: I Can't Tell You Anything About The Movie. ROSIE: I know. A big top secret thing. I don't care I don't understand. Sometimes I have an "X-Files" party, and I kick everybody out, but people look to me, like I'm the expert you and they said, what's going on? (She makes a face.) And that's all I do. (Makes the face again) Like I know and they're stupid. DD: They think you're choking. ROSIE: Yeah, like a fur ball. Exactly. My favorite episode, "The Mask," when the guy -- that was sweet. (TD NOTE: More than likely refers to "Post-Modern Prometheus", as Cher's movie "Mask" is highlighted during the ep) DD: That was great. ROSIE: The show is on Sunday nights. June 19th, go with me to see the movie. I'll be in line at the Sony movie theater. Thank you, David. We'll be right back after this. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]